黄天略根本没听说江湖上有兔儿爷这么一号人,试探地问道:“不知兔儿爷怎会知道在下的名号?” 段鸿羽暗道:“既然扮了兔儿爷,索性就一装到底,免得被黄家兄弟瞧出是我可坏了。”便像猴子一样跳到椅子上,往椅背上一座,笑道:“白先生的威风在江湖上谁人不知?都说您老医术那是妙手回春,起死回生呀!本兔爷在三个月大的时候就听过您的大名,现在已整整一百三十七年了!没想到现在才见到白先生的真面目,真是相见恨晚,三生有幸呀!” 黄天略暗道:“这王八蛋,满嘴喷粪,哪有三个月就记事的?一百三十七年前我爷爷还没出生呢!且看看他到底想做什么?” 黄天赐见事不妙,便出门和天残八怪商量对策去了。 段鸿羽道:“要说本兔爷来自何方,那还得从在下第九十三代先祖说起,本兔爷的第九十三代先祖叫兔高爷,他生在福建梨花村,忽有一天拾到一个玉佩,没想到竟是当朝皇上丢的,这样本先祖可飞黄腾达了……”段鸿羽一边编一边说,一会儿说他先祖做了皇上干爹,一会儿说他先祖娶了皇太后,就他这第九十三代先祖便说了两柱香的工夫也没说完。 上官兄妹也听出了这个兔儿爷是在胡搅蛮缠,但想此人既然先到,也只能耐心等着。 这时,段鸿羽又开始说起兔高爷的儿子兔太爷。黄天略一听让他这样说下去,便是说到明天早上也说不到他第九十代祖先上,便道:“行了,兔儿爷,在下知道你的来路了,你还是让我看看你的伤势吧!” 段鸿羽从椅子上一个跟头翻下来,道:“要说我的伤势,还得从五天前说起,那天早饭,本兔爷连吃了一百零八个馒头,觉得有点撑,便出村转转,没想到被同村虎哥瞧见了,虎哥问我:‘兔儿爷!馒头给我一块行不?’我说:‘不行!不行!’虎哥又说:‘给我一块吧!’我说:‘不行!不行!’虎哥又说:‘给我一块吧!’我说:‘不行!不行!’。虎哥又说:‘给钱一块吧!’……”段鸿羽编故事的本领挺弱,实在想不出下面情节了,便卡在虎哥跟他要馒头上了。这一轮问答就说了一百多遍,还没想出下文呢! 黄天略打断他道:“是不是虎哥又跟你要馒头,你说不行不行?” 段鸿羽笑道:“白先生,你真是神医妙算,连这都料到了。不错!虎哥又说:‘给我一块吧!’我说‘不行!不行!’虎哥又说:‘给我一块吧!’我说‘不行,不地。’虎哥又说:‘给我一块吧!’……”他把虎哥要馒头又说了一百多遍,还是没说完。段鸿羽是想搞点怪异的事情引起上官兄妹的警觉,可上官兄妹一门心思想治病,只觉得这兔儿爷有点无理取闹,丝毫没有怀疑黄天略有什么不妥之处。 黄天略知道段鸿羽是存心捣乱,阴沉的脸道:“兔儿爷,你既然受了伤,就把脸上的止血巾拿下来,我也好看看你伤在了哪里!” 段鸿羽道:“拿不得!拿不得!本兔爷的伤不在头上,在腰上!” 黄天略道:“既然你脑袋没伤,为何要用止血巾包住?” 段鸿羽笑嘻嘻道:“人家害羞呀!” 黄天略冷笑道:“就算害羞,也没有包住脑袋不敢见人的呀?兔儿爷,你把手伸过来,我看看你的脉象!” 段鸿羽道:“本兔爷不卖象,猪鸭倒没少卖了。要说这卖猪,那里面的学问可大了,猪分好多种,有家猪、野猪、黑猪、白猪、花猪、公猪、母猪、大猪、小猪、胖猪、瘦猪……”他接着又说起了养猪经,可他根本没养过猪,完全是胡说八道,前言不搭后语。 黄天略大怒,暗道:“哪里来的混蛋,竟敢在太岁头上动土!”伸手向段鸿羽手腕上抓去,干笑道:“兔儿爷,我不是说卖象,而是给你号号脉!” 段鸿羽笑道:“原来是给本兔爷号脉呀!我还以为先生是和我谈生意呢!”平举手臂,任由黄天略施为。 黄天略力贯手掌,四指在段鸿羽脉门上用力一压。他有心教训一下段鸿羽,这一压至少也有四五百斤的力气。黄天略本想段鸿羽非骨折不可,却没料到对方手腕竟坚如钢铁,他手指根本按不下去。段鸿羽仍是谈笑风生,就像什么也没发生一样。 黄天略心下一惊,暗道:“此人好深的功力!”化指为爪,用尽浑身功力向段鸿羽手腕狠狠抓来。 段鸿羽见黄天略眼放凶光,知道他要下毒手,瞥见身边刚好有一只猫蹿过,伸手把猫拎在手上,他动作迅速已极,还没等黄天略反应过来,已用猫头换下手臂,只听“咔嚓”一声响,随着猫的一声惨叫,猫头已被黄天略瞬间抓了个粉碎,无头猫鲜血淋漓,真是惨不隐睹。 段鸿羽趁黄天略一愣之机,左手用一个极有效的动作摘掉他头上的伪装。 上官云英和上官虹英这才知道情况有变,赶紧站起身退到一边。上官云英认出了黄天略,惊道:“你不是白高风,你是七绝岭的黄天略!黄天略,你为什么要假扮白高风骗人?” 黄天略略显尴尬地道:“上官公子,在下不过是和你们开个玩笑而已!” 段鸿羽笑道:“黄寨主开玩笑的法子当真好玩!只是还有什么高招,本兔爷倒要见识见识!” 上官虹英已明白过来,厉声道:“黄天略,我们兄妹和你有什么深仇大恨,你为何要害我们?” 黄天略见诡计一时无法得逞,忙道:“上官姑娘不要听信小人调唆之言,在下便是有天大的胆子也不敢谋害两位呀!” 上官虹英又问段鸿羽:“你别装疯卖傻,你到底是谁?” 段鸿羽在地上连翻了九个大跟头,然后一下蹦到椅子上,笑道:“我真的没有骗你们,我就是上天入地、无所不能、人爱人爱、无比可爱的兔儿爷是也!”他怕被人认出来,极力模仿野兔子的言行,只是他做得太过火了,其实就是野兔子来了也不至于如此出格的,他这已不是滑稽,而是吃错药了。
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